Expanding the Capacity to Better Manage Stress
Jul 24, 2022
I’m sure you are wondering why I am bringing up the topic of mental/emotional stress when we are currently enjoying long summer days, more free/unstructured time, and social gatherings. Well, that is exactly why I am doing it now. We all know that “real” life at the end of summer is coming quicker than we would like it and I want to make sure that everyone is prepared and equipped to handle the stressors that will come with this new season. So, while life’s pace is a little calmer, let’s explore what normally causes stress in your life and what changes you need to make moving forward.
In previous discussions, I introduced you to my Blueprint For Health. Check out my diagram which shows a cup that captures the physical, chemical, and mental/emotional stressors that we endure on a day-to-day basis. Although some of our ability to cope with these stressors is predetermined (genetic blueprint), most of it can be managed by lifestyle choices.
Why is it important to make sure we minimize these stressors?
Everyone has an amount of stress that they can tolerate before they start showing signs of dis-ease. (What the body experiences before having the actual disease - think of pre-diabetes before diabetes, etc.) These could be symptoms like not being able to get to sleep or stay asleep, digestive issues (indigestion, ulcers), headaches if you are prone to headaches, etc. They are signs that you are nearing your capacity for dealing with these stressors and if you don’t take action, you may end up with very clear indications that your cup has overflowed.
So how do we increase the capacity to prevent overflow?
My suggestion to you is to try and determine the biggest source of the stress. Sometimes it is not easy to take an honest look at what is contributing to the stress in your life, but it is imperative for you to have this information.
Think about it like this. Imagine a boat that is filling up with water. You may have a large bucket to bail out the water and be able to stay ahead of it at the beginning, but is that the best use of your time and energy? Is that manageable long-term? The water is still going to enter the boat unless you find the hole and plug it. The hole is the analogy for your biggest source of stress. Ask yourself if it is work stress, family stress, financial stress, or relationship stress. Now ask yourself what you can do to minimize or remove this stress from your life?
Size of your cup
When I talk about increasing the size of your cup or increasing your capacity to deal with mental/emotional stress, this is a big idea that can't be fully explained here. I have spent countless hours reading, coaching, and participating in seminars to help me increase the size of my cup. This allows me to take on bigger and bigger challenges. This is one part of what we work on with our retreats and 1 on 1 coaching.
Part of stress management is not only managing stress once it has presented itself but actually setting boundaries on what situations/experiences you identify and label as stressful. It’s all about perspective. What’s stressful for one person could be an enjoyable challenge to another.
There is also a concept of “stacking” that I talk to my team about on a regular basis. The idea is that if you let every little thing that happens in your day build-up, stress you out, and enter into your cup, you will end up overflowing…guaranteed.
So how do I reduce my stress to increase my capacity for handling all types of stressors?
We will elaborate in future posts on what lifestyle changes you can make to achieve this. Iin the meantime, I would like you to consider the types of situations, interactions, and experiences that cause you stress and ask yourself: Will this matter in 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 months? Examples: someone cutting you off in traffic, being called into work on your day off, an unexpected bill that is due, etc.
Remember, people who manage stress well do not necessarily have fewer stressors in their life, they have just mastered the skill of controlling their response to the situations that could potentially cause them stress in their day…and you can too!